FASCINATION: THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF POSITIONING
Article By: Shana Lynn Yao
Positioning - it's the powerful position your product or service holds in the mind of your consumer. It's a place that, for many business owners, remains a mystery of the silent triggers of the human connection that move someone from inactive to an active customer or client.
The reality is, you can either have the biggest marketing budget and hammer your message into your audience's mind by building awareness through quantity and numbers, or you can strategically position your marketing to attract your ideal clients through the "secret language" of positioning.
Yes, what was once a mystery, can now be broken down into a science and an art, by understanding the secret language of positioning. By understanding how the brain and mind works, you can design your marketing to "attract" your ideal clients with emotional cues... such as the emotional cues of fascination.
THE SCIENCE OF FASCINATION
Fascination. It's the number one thing that attracts people towards you and avails you with the ability to persuade and have them listen to you - whether you are talking about your product or service in your business or if you're trying to get your child to brush his teeth.
In fact, when you understand the facts about fascination - how it works to allure people with gut reactions, you can forget "persuasion" which is more of a way to talk someone into seeing your point of view (what most people see as sleazy selling) and instead fascination is a way to naturally attract people who "get" you.
Take, for example something as simple as an image on a sales page. Did you know having an image of a person looking a certain direction cues whoever is viewing your web page to do the same?
Or that most buying decisions are based on a gut reaction - not a rational thought process?
By simply understanding how the human mind works, you can better align your marketing towards client attraction rather than convincing people that they should listen and trust you (aka "sleazy selling") rather than attracting those that naturally do.
So what does fascination mean in terms of business? Best selling author Sally Hogshead, who wrote the book "Fascination", narrowed down the qualities of fascination as - power, trust, mystique, prestige, passion, innovation, and alert.
The goal of your marketing in your business is to raise curiosity not resistance. That means NOT "selling" people in such a way their natural triggers will block you out and instead, get people fascinated so they want to find out more, get curious about the topic, and/or relate to your point of view.
You have a business and when people listen to you, the first thing that goes through their minds is fear - aka judgement from others. Caused by our unconscious human instinct in our fear-brains, it's a very primal reaction not based on anything but perception.
That means, if you ever felt "judged" by people when you initially meet them, there is nothing that you should take personally. It's a human reaction not based on who you are or what your intentions are.
People are naturally weary of feeling sold to. Rather today we are going to bypass the things that may raise resistance and instead focus on the things that spark curiosity. Hence, the science of fascination comes into play as today, you are going to learn how to discover the thing that is really interesting about you that will inspire people will want to listen to you and learn from you.
# 1 BE AUTHENTIC
The first thing that people want from you is authenticity. While you may think, "Well, I'm authentic." In actuality, when you are show up as 100% confident, that's what true authenticity is. It's about letting down your guard and showing who you really are. It's not a fake act, and in fact, research shows that when you are truly authentic, you're mouth (unconsciously) produces more saliva. Your speech becomes "wetter", and those subtle cues are picked up by people in such a way that they can tell you feel very confident. They judge your authenticity through the sound of your voice and the way that you speak.
#2 - CREATE YOUR OWN ENVIRONMENT
As a business owner, you have the freedom and power to create your own environment in which you share your wisdom. While this may seem like a personal choice, it's actually a powerful strategy that enables you to a greater chance of success, surrounded by people who "get" you, and wth the support that is necessary for introducing new ideas. Not doing this forces you into environments that may not be ones you thrive in.
One of the best ways to show your personal style in an environment that helps you thrive, is through the power of Instagram. An image friendly environment, when used correctly, can help your unique personality and talents shine, in a fun, and purposeful way. Now with Instagram stories, you can truly live in full expression of your personality and your brand. So whether it's Instagram or a Facebook group, create the environment that you want to share yourself in.
Note of caution: Facebook as a whole is NOT an environment. It's a big global company with a lot of outside noise, very different than your own exclusive "room".
Facebook is a not a big happy home. It's a huge giant place and it's where a lot of bad things can happen inside your mind. In daily life, you don't see the people who are making tons of money. You don't see the people who are raving about themselves. You don’t just see a lot of the things that you see on Facebook. Those things that you just see, some may apply to you but most of it does not.
What ends up happening to our fear-based brains is it causes a subconscious response that cause panic inside of us. Like, "What's wrong with me?" on bad days. On good days, you must be like, "Oh yeah, I loved this."
On bad days and we all have them, it eats away your self-confidence. Instead, claim your powerful positioning and create your own environment. Invite (ABI - Always Be Inviting) people into your house so you can share your good work. Examples could include a group, an event, or even a livestream.
#3- HAVE SOMETHING YOU INVITE PEOPLE TO
Find a place that you can invite people to. I call that the "ABI" which stands for Always Be Inviting. You should be inviting people into your house of your business everyday. What an you create to invite people to? Think of it as your own party where you get to show your work - a webinar, a teleclass, a sale event, taste testing (offline if you have a physical business)... whatever it is, ABI will give you the opportunity to have a place for people to discover more about you.
#4 - BE KNOWN FOR YOUR STRENGTHS
Knowing your strengths and what other people think are your strengths really helps you understand what it is and how you need to show up every day. When I know where I shine into the right people that can hear me, that's how I show up every day. Because of it, that's how I feel confident.
Using your past experience and your interests as a guide, is a great way to understand where you shine. For me, with over 28 years of business and marketing experience, being the Marketing Director for high end shopping centers and retail districts in Los Angeles, doing publicity and marketing for Rodeo Drive, and winning awards for industry changing marketing ideas - my strengths revolve around prestige and innovation.
Look to your past to help you plan your present and future. Those things that you took for granted could actually be the "secret sauce" in what others value about you.
When you know what your strengths are and can demonstrate them in your business, to the right people, it's one of the most fascinating things you can do.
#5 BECOME THE MOST FASCINATING PERSON...TO YOURSELF
As humble and introverted you may be, understanding what makes you fascinating is not about bragging or being conceited. The truth is, we often see others as having qualities that outshine our own. It's a human reaction - but understanding what makes you fascinating about yourself is an important part of owning your confidence and worth. The reality is, if you're not fascinating to yourself, if you're never going to be able to put on a mask that's going to make you fascinating to other people. And so you want to become the most fascinating person in your room.
This is one of the most important parts about owning your confidence and being respected as a business owner. As the famous branding line goes, "Your personal brand is what people think about you when you're not in the room." The issue is that you are always in the room.
You are always in the room. You are your personal brand. If you do not find yourself entertaining, fascinating, you can't look at yourself and find the great parts to it, you need to do some deep work because becoming the most fascinating person to your self is how you have self-confidence in yourself.
It's not just about what other people think about you. The most important impression is the one you make on yourself.
One of the best ways to help you understand your own voice and fascinating qualities is to start a vlog. Yes- I know, it seems a little rudimentary, but the truth is, it's a verbal diary that will help you understand your own voice. Whether you put it on YouTube or not, it's a way to get familiar with your own voice and if you do it in a purposeful and deliberate way, it can become a vlog to add to your marketing strategy.
For me, I found just talking into my phone and talking to myself, I discovered what makes me come alive inside. And when I would listen to them, I found the areas that I know I need to position myself in my business around because those are the areas that I'm very strong in: personal branding, talking about the mind and standing up for yourself. Kind of being a rebel so that you can stand out to your best business friends (BBF's).
Whatever will come at your mouth is going to be different but it's kind of fun to do a vlog and whether you put it online or not, you'll find out a lot about yourself and find a greater appreciation for your own voice.
#6 MAKE DIRECT EYE CONTACT
"Seeing eye to eye" is not just a catchy phrase. In fact, one of the most powerful things you can do in your business is to build a direct connection with your audience... one member at a time. While that may seem impossible, you must remember that only one person, one mind and one heart is reading, listening, or watching you. There may be thousands, but individually, those thousands are made up of individual people. This means when you're posting on Facebook or Instagram, your goal is to pretend that there's another person on the other side, not a million people. If you can realize that there is another (ONE) human being you are impacted with every word and photo you share, you will more easily discover the emotional drive of your ideal clients.
It helps to picture someone you may already know, and set the intention of what you want your words to mean to them. Just pick one person. When done this way, your message will come across as more authentic.
In addition, it's a great way to look at social media. Instead of a broadcast with a megaphone, it's a personal conversation that moves the right people towards you.
A smile is worth a thousand words. That in actuality is true. Smiling is appealing and it helps other people want to smile too. In fact, this is kind of a funny thing but it's a human subconscious reaction that if you smile, the smile you send out will get returned to you (in science it is referred to as "mirror neurons"). You, in fact, can't smile and not have somebody looking at you smile back.
Remember, business is business but the reality is, if you aren't having fun, then you aren't doing it right. People are attracted to real people - that means - people who are comfortable in their own skin. To be able laugh at yourself is one of the most precious gifts of life. No human is perfect, and just because you own a business, doesn't mean you won't make mistakes. Laughing at yourself makes you HUMAN. Show others they can relate to you. That is truly the gift of owning your own personality.
Laughing at yourself not only is good for your spirit, but on a biological level, it causes your cells express themselves in a more positive way. When you smile, your body naturally produces endorphins - healing for both your brain and body.
When you get in the habit of laughing at yourself, you'll find you can get through your failures and mistakes in business and life so much easier. Failure then, becomes not so much a dead end but just an experiment.
Life is an experiment. Business is an experiment. Every program you launch is not going to be successful. You may stumble and fall. You may make a mistake. People may judge you. Let them judge. It's just a part of being human.
The other option is you can sit and beat yourself up and overthink it. But there are two sides to every situation. You can either laugh at yourself or you can sit and judge yourself, overthink, and then beat yourself up and then fall into depression. Which would you rather?
#8 INVEST IN YOURSELF
A shocking truth is that women spend over 20 years of our lives having bad hair days. That's a shocking statistic, and considering that something as simple as your hair could set your day off course, one of the best investments you can make is to spend money on yourself. While seemingly unrelated to your business, something as random as your hair can either make you feel bad about your self or it can be seen as a necessary action to eliminate self judgement.
Investing in yourself - whether it is a course, a coach, a program, a haircut, or equipment - is a sign to yourself that you are worth it. Money, in fact, is energy - and while it may seem like a splurge or indulgent, can actually empower a flow of positive change.
While you may think of money as just a dollar bill, spending money randomly and investing in yourself are two totally different things. Spending money on your personal growth is a silent message to yourself that you matter. And the more you can understand the connection to the investment in your personal growth and how it empowers your commitment and drive, the more you will understand how to use that information to motivate your ideal clients into making an investment in you.
#9 SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO GET YOU
This seems easy and like it would naturally happen, but the truth is, we are often very unconscious about the people that flow in and out of our lives. With the abundance of random people on Facebook and other social media channels, it's easy to fall into groups, accept friend requests, and get into situations with people that become part of your life, but possibly don't belong there.
Take notice how you feel when you are in the company of others - whether it is in person or online. Unfollow people who make you feel bad. Stop making dates with people who only bring you down. Fear not being alone, but fear more the negative impact of even one bad or negative voice in your life.
Take note of the unconscious mediocrity that many people fall into during the course of their lives. You become your environment, and in the distracted world online and off, it's seldom that most people take time to evaluate the circumstances in their lives.
But if you focus on your own world and work on your own thing, you'll find how many people, things, and activities may no longer serve you and open up space for your confidence to emerge.
Whether you're spending money on coaching, improving yourself, being vain, if you can spend money on yourself to grow yourself in some way, improve your self-image, improve your brain, improve your business to make money, to improve your health - it will send a ripple effect of positive change throughout your life and business.
#10 - BE ASSERTIVE
I know, you don't want to offend people. But assertiveness is very different than bitchiness. The reality is, if you don't take charge of your own wants and needs, if you don't communicate what you actually want to say in your marketing, if you hold back for fear of judgement from others, you will never be able to own your positioning and client attraction.
Everyone just wants to be led. So said well known marketing expert Jay Abraham. As children we are told what to do. And as adults, we want our independence but still question right from wrong. Whether it's your clients or people in your lives, people are attracted to direct communication.
There is no place in business (or life) for people pleasing. Being assertive means you speak your mind and on the other side, you ask for what you want. It's not being demanding, it's a purposeful goal for the betterment of your clients.
If you have a thought, people pleasing are actually not a nice thing. In fact, people pleasers cause a lot of problems as a silent and unconscious hate or like disdain for the other person builds up. It's the cause of passive aggressive behavior - so instead of waiting for the negative result, speak your mind and be assertive. That's a positive quality of a fascinating person.
#11 - DISCOVER THE ENERGY OF SUCCESS
Have you ever experienced the energy of success? It's not something you pay for and it's not something you learn. It's an ownership of understanding who you are, from the inside out. Understanding what makes you the most fascinating person to yourself, enables you to have that energy.
The energy of success is an internal confidence in your personal being. And in your business, it's the internal confidence in your personal brand. When you can live in full expression of yourself, not hold back, you naturally fascinate others. The way you talk. The way you move. The way you own your own genius.
#12 - BE TRANSPARENT BUT A LITTLE MYSTERIOUS
Be transparent but a little mysterious. Remember, the goal is to not raise resistance but to raise curiosity.
When you are the most fascinating person in the room and you know your strengths, you're able to then speak about all your genius but you're also able to know the true value inside of you and people can't experience that until they take a step closer. So be transparent. Be open. Be honest. Be assertive and understand your higher value and reserve that for your clients.
#12 - ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS
Asking a lot of questions will get you the right answers. Asking strategic questions will not only move your clients forward but will move you forward as well. Instead of beating yourself up or saying things like, "What am I going to do? Oh my god! What am I going to do?" You need to ask yourself, "Why is this happening? What can I do about it? What are my options?"
Ask other people, "What do you need? How can I help you?" Don't assume anything, and be curious. In order to be the most fascinating person in the room, you have to be fascinated. You want other people to talk about themselves. You want to open up the conversation. You want to engage other people.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
The number one thing that you can do to become the most fascinating person in the room is to know your why, to know your true purpose, to know why you're here, why you have a business, why you need to speak. What is it that you're going to say? What could you scream from the mountain tops? Because when you know your why, all of those other things come together. You can't help that become the most fascinating person to yourself. You know why? Because you become obsessed with this thing.
It lives inside of each and every one of us that you make purpose, when you find it there's nothing that can hold you down. Then you stop judging yourself. You just start doing. You want to scream this through the mountain tops.
There is 10 million bits of information going on any moment, like any millisecond in time. Yet, we humans can only recognize 40. If you're so focus on trying to be fascinating, trying to do these things, trying to get clients, trying to make money, you leave no room for fascination. It sends a signal of alarm. Distrust. And instability.
You can't control how you appear. You can't control that wet sound in your confident voice. You can't control all the things that make a person fascinating. Instead, you need to focus on your genius, your why, your mission. When you speak from what you naturally know, and strategically align it with your business, then you have the system that works.
That's the way a successful business runs. Instead of focusing on building your list, try focusing on making yourself the most fascinating person in the room. Then watch your list, your confidence, and your clients grow...from the inside out.
Shana Yao is CEO and Your Marketing Mastermind® of TOTAL GENIUS™, She is the Editor and Chief of The Business Luminary Magazine, and works with high achieving clients to empower them to own their expertise so they can make a bigger impact in the world, with a signature business that reflects their personal style. She is the creator of the 5 Minute Marketing Journal, the #1 way to simplify your business marketing, gain greater focus and accomplish deep work.
Driven by purpose, her mission is to build Luminary Leaders of tomorrow to light up the world with change and innovation. Her focus around the areas of holistic health, personal style, and mental clarity, are based on the belief that true success is found in becoming the person you are meant to be in life and using that to empower your business. For it's the combination of your greatest strengths, talents, and life experience that fulfills your life and creates true, everlasting success.
She is an award-winning Business & Personal Success Strategist with over 28 years of experience managing multimillion dollar retail and shopping center locations, including the famed Rodeo Drive.
Join her and other Luminary Leaders, lighting the world with their holistic and powerful businesses at the The Business Luminaries.