HOW TO STOP COMPARING YOURSELF
TO OTHERS IN BUSINESS
BY Shana Lynn Yao
Have you ever been on a roll, really in your element and beating to your own drum... and then you go on Facebook and Instagram and suddenly your life, everything you've been doing, everything you just yesterday were loving, suddenly seems to feel ridiculous?
I call it comparisonitis - when you see everybody else's highlight reels, all of their edited and beautiful photos, and think "Who am I?"
It's not you. I promise. It happens to everyone and this morning in fact, it happened to me. I was laying in bed scrolling through Instagram and suddenly realized how NOT interesting I am, how NOT pretty I am, and how my life suddenly seemed so lacking.
Of course, none of that is true. But in fact, what you believe to be true IS true for you. Research shows 80%of human thought is negative and 95% unconscious - so if you always focus on how you are not good enough you will always be unconsciously creating that pattern in yourself.
The good news is, you can choose to see a new perspective - it's a choice you can and need to make in order to have the confidence to move forward as an entrepreneur and own your personal value. Ignoring the self judgement that can happen when you compare yourself to others can cause low self esteem, lack of understanding your true value, and then not doing the actions necessary to make money and attract clients to your business.
Whether you are a freelancer, a business owner, a Youtuber or blogger, your job as an entrepreneur is to own your creative spirit and use it to create unique and different things that provide value to others. It's what I like to call - getting paid for being who you are.
Owning Your Self Worth
There are 8 things you can do to own your self worth and stopping comparison to others. Let's get started:
- Accept that you have choices.
You have a choice to either decide that others are better than you (trust me, it doesn't matter if you are Gigi Hadid or former President Obama - people will always be richer, prettier, smarter than anybody based on the perspective you see it as.
- Keep working toward your goals.
Don't quit. Keep moving forward because if you don't, you will never be able to create personal success. The people you admire have nothing to do with your own life well lived. An the real shame is that they are living their best life and you are watching them live their best life and NOT creating yours.
- Recognize your limitations.
We all have them and the more you can focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses, the more you will stay in your confident and creative zone. Understand that ALL humans have limitations and you WILL have "bad days" where those limitations take front and center stage. But just like Ekhart Toile says "this too shall pass". This too shall pass.
- Embrace your uniqueness.
How are you amazing? Trust me - you are. You've lived your life doing just fine so far. How are you amazing? What have you done in your life that you are proud of? When you look in the mirror, is there a part of you that you actually like? What do people compliment you on? Make a list and read it often. If you have testimonials or reviews, create a handy sheet that you can put by your computer and read EVERYDAY before you get on social media.
- Learn from those with experience.
Find a mentor who has been through the rollercoaster of life as a business owner. Chances are, if you think they have your answer, they have your answer. Trust your gut and find someone who will show you your own path who understands how to emerge from self-perceived failure.
- Guard your precious time.
GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA. Yes, you have to "do your social media". You will have to get on Facebook and Instagram and other social media accounts in order to build your global clientele. But set limits. You may want to set a time schedule and ONLY allow yourself that time to promote your business and share with others.
- Celebrate your successes.
You do win. I promise, even if you think you don't when you lack self confidence, you actually have had wins. Notate them and remind yourself of them often. Remind yourself that when you really try, you are able to work miracles.
- Focus on what you can change: yourself.
You can't control other people's successes. You can only control your own. You are so much better than you will admit to yourself, but knowing that you can claim back your personal power by doing the above steps will give you the power to bounce back if you ever fall.
This morning I was on Instagram when I fell into the comparison to others trap myself - and then I stumbled upon this drawing.
I saw this drawing on Jasmine Sanders @golden_barbie Instagram page. Wow she's gorgeous and yet her body is different than most skinny models - but with over 2.5 million followers clearly that doesn't matter. Below it, some of her famous blogger friends commented they were the middle figure or bigger one.
Own your personal value. Stop comparing yourself to others. Know that you are enough the moment you decide you are enough. Love your life out loud. I know just writing this reminded me how much I love sharing and helping others understand that you are truly a gift as your own beautiful self.
About the Author:
Shana Yao is the CEO of Total Genius and works with clients to help them discover their brand story in their life experience and design it into their successful business and life. With over 28 years of experience managing multimillion dollar retail and shopping center locations, including the famed Rodeo Drive, she has a unique and strategic understanding of business. Her focus around the areas of holistic health, personal style, and mental clarity, are based on the belief that true success is found in becoming the person you are meant to be in life and using that to empower your business. For it's the combination of your greatest strengths, talents, and life experience that fulfills your life and creates true, everlasting success.
Join her and other independent small business owners, lighting the world with their holistic and powerful businesses in her private community The Club
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